It's me Chandler and I'm gonna be feeling you in on some things that have been happening to me.
So to start off with I've been listening to podcasts and I've came across one I really enjoy.
It's former YouTuber Lauren Rose's podcast and I really love it.
It just gives me a very nostalgic summer feeling,
I don't know.
School has started and though I'm no longer in school I still get a nervous feeling about it.
School is nostalgic for me.
But When I was in school I had a lot of bad vibes and ad memories.
I have always felt trapped and lonely like the sisters in The Virgin Suicides.
I've been very crude lately and I haven't taken any pictures.
I think I lost my spirit because it's suppose to be my senior year and I'm not in high school.
I guess it's for the best but I feel so....bored and lonely and forgotten.
I though someone would care when I left but no.
People moved on.
I guess it was a stupid thing to think and my parents want me to start college but I'm not ready.
I just don't want to lead a boring life and basic. I want adventure and excitement.
I thought leaving high school was best but now I'm not to sure.
I just knew something bad was going to happen if I stayed.
I didn't want to die or hurt people.
I was having a mental and physical melt down and I'm still recovering.
Though I do want to go to the football games and try to exchange good vibes.
But I don't want to see the faces of everyone who looked down on me.
I just want to be free from it all.
I feel drawn to the beauty of nature.
The stillness of the night.
The night calling for fun.
And the adventure swinging in the wind.
I need to get to that sweet exit and life and not just exist.